My mom has cancer.

I'm not sure when this will post...today is August 28th. I don't know if I'm quite ready yet to accept it. Many of you may have noticed my 'odd' instagram posts, some have messaged me about them- and I thank you for your concern. But it's not about me.

My mom, at the  young age of 49, was diagnosed with Grade 3 Stage 3 Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma on August 24th. The news has hit hard. It's not something you ever expect to happen. It feels like a nightmare and every night I fall asleep hoping I wake up and it's not true. But it is. It's more real when you're helping your mom pick out a wig that looks like her as much as possible, it's real when you think about the treatments she will have to endure, it's real when you realize nobody knows what will happen, it's real when you see true fear in your parents eyes that you have never seen before. They told her it would have only been less than a year without starting treatments that she would live. It's hard not to think of the 'what if's' as much as I don't want to. Mentally you have to prepare your mind for the worst but hope and pray for the best. Although the cancer is so far advanced in her, she has a lot going for her as well. She's young, otherwise healthy, and strong. There is a new medicine in the chemo treatments that's supposed to be outstanding- CHOP-R. (The "R" is the new medicine). She will undergo the most intense treatment. In six months from now, after 6 chemo treatments, they will check her again to see if it's worked (or working), and then proceed with more if need be. All I can do is think I wish it were February already and I'm receiving news that it's in remission. I want to be there. I don't want to see my mom sick, period. I want this all to just go away.

I'm trying my best to stay strong and positive. I truly believe she will beat this with flying colors, but it doesn't take away the pain and fear. She has so much support already. We are all working together to make sure she has everything she will want and need - one step at a time.

It's going to be a tough long road ahead. I can say that I've never leaned so much on prayer and positive thoughts as I do now. This is so far out of my hands, it's all I can do; Which, along with venting therapy for myself, is the reason I'm posting this. If you could, please please keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers as well. I deeply appreciate it. I will continue to post updates and vents during the process.

My parents with all their grand babies, August 2012

Myself, Mom, & Sisters