Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My mom has cancer.

I'm not sure when this will post...today is August 28th. I don't know if I'm quite ready yet to accept it. Many of you may have noticed my 'odd' instagram posts, some have messaged me about them- and I thank you for your concern. But it's not about me.

My mom, at the  young age of 49, was diagnosed with Grade 3 Stage 3 Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma on August 24th. The news has hit hard. It's not something you ever expect to happen. It feels like a nightmare and every night I fall asleep hoping I wake up and it's not true. But it is. It's more real when you're helping your mom pick out a wig that looks like her as much as possible, it's real when you think about the treatments she will have to endure, it's real when you realize nobody knows what will happen, it's real when you see true fear in your parents eyes that you have never seen before. They told her it would have only been less than a year without starting treatments that she would live. It's hard not to think of the 'what if's' as much as I don't want to. Mentally you have to prepare your mind for the worst but hope and pray for the best. Although the cancer is so far advanced in her, she has a lot going for her as well. She's young, otherwise healthy, and strong. There is a new medicine in the chemo treatments that's supposed to be outstanding- CHOP-R. (The "R" is the new medicine). She will undergo the most intense treatment. In six months from now, after 6 chemo treatments, they will check her again to see if it's worked (or working), and then proceed with more if need be. All I can do is think I wish it were February already and I'm receiving news that it's in remission. I want to be there. I don't want to see my mom sick, period. I want this all to just go away.

I'm trying my best to stay strong and positive. I truly believe she will beat this with flying colors, but it doesn't take away the pain and fear. She has so much support already. We are all working together to make sure she has everything she will want and need - one step at a time.

It's going to be a tough long road ahead. I can say that I've never leaned so much on prayer and positive thoughts as I do now. This is so far out of my hands, it's all I can do; Which, along with venting therapy for myself, is the reason I'm posting this. If you could, please please keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers as well. I deeply appreciate it. I will continue to post updates and vents during the process.

My parents with all their grand babies, August 2012
Family Photos 2012

Myself, Mom, & Sisters
Family Photos 2012

23 comments:

Kat said...

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.

Courtney B said...

Oh I am SO sorry! Sending you and your mom SO much love! And I'm definitely praying hard for your mom and your whole family!

Ashley said...

Thinking of you!!! Keep your head up, your positivity means more than you will ever know! Be strong for you and your family, especially your mom!! Hang in there ;) Beautiful photos!!!

lovejoy_31 said...

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I know all too well how that feels to see that look in your mom's eyes. My mom fought and lost a very brief, horrific battle w/ brain cancer. Feel free to read my posts from July - November 2011. Know that I will be praying for you and your mom.

A Joyful Life
http://ajoy-fullife.blogspot.com

Allie said...

I am so sorry to hear that. I will keep your mom and family in my prayers.

Kate said...

I am so sorry for what your family is going through. I will be praying for you guys!

Kati said...

I'll be praying for you mom, you, and your entire family as you are going through this hard time in your lives.

TeresaG said...

I will definitely be praying! Cancer is so scary and uncertain...both my parents had and beat cancer! Praying for strength, success and peace for your family!

Emily said...

I've been following your blog for a little while but I don't think I've ever commented. I just wanted to give you another glimmer of hope. My aunt is 56 and last November was diagnosed with non-hodgkins. She was NOT otherwise healthy (having had [and beat] breast cancer before and being a smoker for many years). The cancer was in her abdomen and was about the size of a 13x9 pyrex! She underwent two rounds of intense chemo and a stem cell transplant and although her hair is gone, and she is skinnier (which i think she likes!) and has to work from home for now, she is otherwise as good as new. Remission as of August, almost a year later. Keep your head up and tell your mom to stay strong and positive. I think my aunt's stubbornness and absolute refusal to die was a huge benefit to her!!! I'll be thinking about you all and look forward to hearing good news. GO MOM!!!

Alessandra said...

Hi! So sorry to hear about your mom! Please try to stay strong!! My prayers are with you & your family!! ♥

Tara said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your mom! I will be praying for her and you and your family!

m&msmommy said...

I am so sorry to be reading this! You can count on me for daily prayers for your mom (and your entire family)! :)

Callie Nicole said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Jeska. I'll be praying for your mom and for your family.

Mallorie said...

Oh my goodness. I was wondering what your insta posts were about. You, your family, and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers.

The Best of Both Worlds said...

I'm so so sorry Jess! Stay strong. Your mom can and will fight this! I am here if you ever need anything. I know that there is not much I can say or do but I will continue to pray for your mom, you and your family. It will be okay! xoxo

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to be happening. Love the photos. Hope you are able to treasure every day with your mom now and let go of the future just a bit. Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry Jessica that you and your family are going through this! Keeping you all close in prayers and thoughts.

dg darling said...

You don't know me but I follow your beautiful blog and I just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying here in Utah....

Stephanie said...

This news is definitely hard to hear, whether it's your own family member or someone whose blog you follow and have never actually met in person. I will be thinking and praying for you and your family. Your mom looks like a strong woman - she can fight this!

Ashley said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this Jessica! My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom, and I am sending you all my thoughts to you and your family. x

Courtney @ One Fine Wire said...

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts...

Amanda Ward said...

I just lost my mom. So I feel what you feel. I felt it 4 years ago at her accident and last week when she past. You are def in my thoughts and prays stay strong! Xoxo

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